TW: Eating Disorders -- Spoiler Alert: There's a happy continuation
During my life I have had mixed emotions about my body. It didn't look, feel, or pose the way I wanted it to. I consistently created Venn diagrams in my head comparing others bodies to my own. These were losing battles that continued to fuel my depression and anger. It is what led to me struggling with wanting control and eventually harming myself through binging and purging. This was a large part of my life in high school and early college.
I am grateful that at this time it is not the same struggle. I am making the decision to radically accept and love my body for the peace, joy, and love it shares with me. It houses my soul, it allows me to experience this world, and it is my home. This does not mean that I have found the super secret formula to life nor that I will never relapse again. It means I am making a conscious effort to choose myself. I am worthy of love whether I am over 300lbs or if I am the picture shown as the definition of peak health. I share this because each day we have to decide if we want to live, exist, or quit. Sometimes the choice is easy and sometimes its really hard. If you are reading this it means you made the choice to keep going today. I am proud of you. I love you. I see you.